Guess who I found contributing to the delinquency of a minor?

BAD BAD CRAZY!!!


Yes, you can run, but you can't hide Crazy. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Shame on you Crazy, shame shame shame on you.

So at 4:30 am, I had to use the bathroom. Just at that time Mr. Oliver decided he needed to stir, like the devil prodigy he is, he had to stir just as I couldn't hold it any longer. So to the bathroom I go, and then Crazy starts loudly asking where I am. Its 4:30 am, if I'm not in bed where do you think I am? Anyhow, he begs and pleads for me to take Mr. Oliver because he's been waking up every 2 hours. As I had suspected....Crazy had been allowing Mr. Oliver to continue waking up every 2 hours to graze. Yes, you read it here first, Mr. Oliver is a cow. He grazes every 2 hours. I swear for some strange reason, I think that Crazy puts the kid in bed with us the second I fall asleep. For instance, last night at 11 pm, Mr. Oliver fell asleep, magically at midnight, he stirs and demands to be fed....but only eats about 1.5 ounces. He then wakes up 2 hours later and eats 1 ounce...and up again at 4:30 to eat 1 ounce. I noticed that when I was cognizant enough in bed that when he cried, stuffing a pacifier in his mouth usually soothes him enough so that he will go back to sleep. However because Crazy wanted to let me sleep a bit more, he's been trying to quiet Oliver as much as possible...and if that meant feeding the devil to shut him up, that's what he did.

New rules Mr. Oliver....the sad truth is that you have to adhere to my rules until you can afford to fend for yourself. No more grazing at night. You will learn to sleep longer stretches without grazing. If Crazy sneaks you a graze, you and he can sleep in the guest room. I don't care how cute and snuggly you are you little punk, learn to sleep through the night before you get kicked out of the house.

Do you see the dimple? I had photographic proof all along.

Oh Mr. Oliver loves his papa

Here's a photo from yesterday morning...Oliver always cuddles with Crazy when we are in bed together. Every time I look over, I see the the two of them snuggled up close....I'm guessing that Crazy thinks his back aches are well worth the trouble.

Little update on Mr. Oliver.

He's gumming things. He will stick things in his mouth. Tonight, he grabbed my finger and started to gum my finger HARD. Like he was trying to chew my finger off...he gummed it. He's starting to stick things in his mouth. Its really cute when he's in the gym and he grabs something and starts to stick it in his mouth...here's proof....I'm really not lying!

On other Mr. Oliver news....Auntie A has confirmed, Mr. Oliver does indeed have a dimple! YES!!!! She said it was a small dimple on his right cheek. Really really cute! I am still trying to catch a photo of it though.

Evil Evil bad mama

I am home...sending my resume out tonight after a very disappointing day in the office. My manager is off site and will come back to me putting in my notice so I can sit on my butt at home and look for a new job most likely.

So...its hot and Mr. Oliver is cranky. I put him in his crib (yes the one he doesn't use) and turned on the fan so he can get some air circulation. He wailed and cried his poor little heart out for a few minutes....and after we all looked at each other thinking "when is this punk gonna shut it?", he stopped crying. It took him 3 minutes of wailing to realize we were serious this time.

Truth to tell, I was almost buckling under the pressure. I just went to check after 3 minutes of silence and YES indeedy, Mr. Oliver is fast asleep.

I am a mean evil mama.

**Update....Mr. Oliver only managed to sleep for 30 minutes. Damn! At least its 30 minutes.

Those hot summer nights

Its been a tad warm these past few days. Because its so darn hot...I've had to let Mr. Oliver have a little nekkid time, and even though its so damn hot, he still demands to be swaddled. He's also taken to demanding to sleep in our bed at night...and because he is in bed, poor Crazy tries his best not to roll over him in the middle of the night and as a result of the new sleeping position, Crazy has had really bad back problems lately.

Here's a few photos of the punk from this weekend.

Here he is wearing a t-shirt Auntie A bought him. This is the first time he's wearing it...however I have a feeling he won't fit into it for much longer. His head is HUGE. He was waiting for everyone to get ready to go to the farmers market on Saturday. He spent the entire time at the farmer's market crying. It was so *fun*.


Mr. Oliver during nekkid time....with Mr. C almost sitting on his face.

Then there's a picture of a tired Crazy with the ever demanding punk.

Now here are some photos of Mr. Oliver posing with the one piece of furniture he's spent almost NO time in at all. He refuses to sleep in there and we haven't pushed it because Auntie A sleeps in that room...but when she leaves, Mr. Oliver will have to get used to sleeping in that bed. Do the blankets look familiar? They've been in there since before Mr. Oliver was born...waiting for him to use them.

How time flies

This photo was taken literally 3 weeks before Oliver was yanked out of me. I miss being pregnant sometimes. I just miss rubbing my enormous belly. I remember being miserable, and told Crazy how it was very "uncomfortable", he said, man, pregnancy does a number on women. He said, I remember it worse than "uncomfortable", but if you remember it as "uncomfortable" I guess that's just because you forgot.

My bloated feet, bloated face and hands....outrageous stretch marks...oh so many many reasons to miss being pregnant. The conversation this morning started with Crazy asking me if I wanted to have another child. My answer, "No...however, Oliver will not be an only child." Perhaps its because we are first timers that its so difficult. Maybe we are just whiners?

You brought the baby to the bar?

Hmmmmm, why, yes I did bring the baby to the bar.

We went out to our favorite tapas bar tonight in Albany. The waiters came and all stared at Mr. Oliver who was fast asleep. The music being played with a mix of 80s songs and we all reminisced about the tunes while drinking and eating tapas. Mr. Oliver took the remainder of his bottle that was started before we left the house. On a side note, Crazy never allowed us to reuse bottles once they'd been started. Now, he doesn't care. Anyhow, back to the story. Yes I brought the baby to the bar. Mama was thirsty, and since Auntie A is here, she likes to corrode my liver.

So...a little truth has exploded in the Crazy household. As you all know, Mr. Oliver will be heading off to daycare August 1st. Auntie A plans to leave to go back to LA to plan her wedding that weekend, so she'd be spending 3 days by herself. I actually left the office at 2:00 pm today (yes it was a small miracle) and went to the daycare to drop off some paperwork for Mr. Oliver and ensure that they know he's coming on August 1st. So then Auntie A and I (with Oliver) went to have lunch. So....Auntie A asked if it was okay if she could spend a few more days with Mr. Oliver and let him go to day care after she left to go back to LA. I hesitantly agreed on the condition that she not complain about him...however she said, she'd complain anyway. So there it goes people, Auntie A loves Mr. Oliver and loves to complain about him. Explains the onesie eh?


On another note, Mr. Oliver is starting to love his bathes. He hated them earlier, however he likes them now. I'm not complaining...however, it makes it a lot easier for me to give the guy a bath. Here's some proof...I need to apologize for the pictures....Crazy took them, thats why they aren't that good.
More pictures to follow this weekend.

Oliver's a growin

I'll call it growing pains. He's changed his schedule, and now stays up all evening and cries like nobody's business. It is really unsettling and sort of rattles your soul. Nothing you do for more than 2 minutes will keep him quiet. He gets quiet, and then quickly gets bored. If you aren't quick enough to change the position you have him in, he will start screaming. Its kinda rough to figure it out at 3 am. 3 am is a theme for Mr. Oliver. He likes to wake up around 3 am. I think that's the witching hour. I am thinking about switching his formula from Similac to Nestle Goodstart. I'm wondering if Similac is giving him gas, or if its just the bottle. God help me, I feel stupid these days.

He goes to daycare in literally 2 weeks. We bought the wipes and diapers for daycare. We will need to buy a box of gloves so that they can change him and not share other babies cooties with him. I hope and pray that he will get overstimulated at daycare and then come home and sleep. One can hope right?

On the home front, I am still looking for something. I've applied to several jobs, hopefully something will pan out. I like my job, however do not like the extra duties that have been tossed at me without any extra compensation. My month end will SUCK shit. I can almost guarantee it. I think that's when I become an absentee mom.

For a few days, I was really feeling like a turd. Oliver didn't recognize me at all, and he always calmed down when he was with his Auntie A. I think that's when I went back to work and was working 10 hour days, then coming home and working some more. I felt so shitty. He now cries with everyone! He is smiling more these days and giggles. I'm gonna miss those as he gets older. But I think I'm ready for him to talk and tell me what's buggin him instead of just crying.

So...I asked Crazy how many kids he wanted this morning as we were getting ready for work. He responded with, "What did I ever do to you?!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA What a turd. I said, well, "Oliver will not be an only child....so if you don't want be the "maybe" Papa, then someone else will be...." I should also say that we have an ongoing joke. When I got pregnant, I would say to Crazy, "This may be yours....maybe". So when people ask Crazy how it feels like to be a dad, I would say, "Well....maybe we should ask Oliver's dad?" HAHAHAHAAHAHAH! Its a joke people. Crazy is definitely the father....maybe.

We were joking the other day about how crazy Crazy was when Mr. Oliver was first born. We had to sanitize everything. He used those cleanser gels like crazy, and always had to wash everything in the dishwasher to make sure that it wouldn't make the baby sick. We had to wash all pacifiers in the dishwasher every day...so that everything would be sanitized before the baby got it. Auntie A and I would defiantly wash Oliver's bottles in the sink with soap...or drop something on the floor and not go crazy, just tell each other "Don't tell Crazy". So Crazy finally confessed that he now will just rinse pacifiers if they fall on the floor. He's not as crazy about everything regarding the baby as he once was. Shockingly enough, Oliver is still alive despite all the things we did as newbies. Babies are pretty much indestructible.

Random Oliver photos for the week

So...since there have really been no photos for the last few days, here's a bunch to satisfy the eyes.

Here's a very defiant Mr. Oliver during tummy time.
Notice that instead of working his neck muscles, he's sucking on his fist?

Here he is chilling before we went to the farmers market on Saturday


Here he is after his bath on Saturday. He's wearing the gift that his Auntie C sent him.


Here he is showing why people call him fat.

Its a bird, its a plane, its a CULT

I remember when we first brought home Mr. Oliver, crazy said to me...you know what the first moves are for people being indoctrinated into culthood? I said...no, dear, what is it? "Sleep deprivation...makes it easier for them to brain wash you" said Crazy. He said that explains all the people who talk about having children being the best things on the planet. This is why they talk about having more kids, they are brainwashed. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well, Mr. Oliver is officially 13 weeks on Monday. He's finally sleeping 3 hour stretches at night. He still sorta fusses every 2 hours, however, I think its because he's used to it. Tonight, Mr. Oliver and I went to bed around 10:30 pm after he got his bottle. I woke up at 1:50 am to Crazy giving Mr. Oliver a bottle...and then woke up at 4:00 am on the dot to a stirring Mr. Oliver. I picked him up out of his bassinet and put him in bed with us with his pacifier. He went right back to sleep until 5 am, to get his bottle and a diaper change. He then requested to be swaddled when he couldn't get back to sleep and is quietly sleeping next to Crazy right now as I am typing this at 5:30 am. I can't get back to sleep.

Mr. Oliver is growing by leaps and bounds. Crazy and I take him everywhere with us. Its kind of hard not to especially with our lifestyles. No one wants to call us to make plans anymore, so we run errands together and catch sleep when we can. He goes everywhere with us when we aren't working. Usually he just sleeps when we take him out, however lately, he's started to stay awake through it all, well except those car rides...who can resist catching a few winks there. Anyhow, tonight, I actually left the office at a decent hour (5:30 pm) and decided we needed to get some grocery shopping done before we headed back home. So we all went to costco, and then Mr. Oliver decided he did not want to be in his stroller, he wanted to be held, because he wanted to see everything. Sooooo, we had to hold him and walk through the aisles of costco. He stared at people with his big brown eyes and it was just very adorable. :-) We got out of costco with our bulk items (feeding 3 people & 1 baby is harder than you think).....yes I said BULK items. We then made a mad dash to Trader Joe's to grab some items for the week's menu. We've decided to plan our menus a week in advanced, so we can actually have time to prep them instead of coming home and trying to figure out what we are eating....grrrrr, this usually ends up in, we are tired, nothing is defrosted, lets eat out.

While at Trader Joe's, diarrhea happens. This young woman came up to me and said, "That is the cutest baby! He's so fat!" and quickly sprinted off before I could get a comment in. Damnit! I hate those drive by comments. Much like diarrhea, you never know when it will strike. So, you heard it here ya'll, Mr. Oliver is a cute fat asso.

I've also made the decision to hire a maid service to swing by once every 2 weeks after Auntie A leaves us for greener pastures in a land far far away. That way, they can take care of the chores we barely have time for, so we can spend more time with Mr. Oliver. I just need them to clean out the fridge, countertops, dishes, floor...clean the bathroom....vacuum, dust and change the bedding in the rooms. If we had a washer & dryer, it would be super duper nice...simply because having a child isn't really conducive to doing downstairs to fight for a washer and dryer, and sucks even worse when they are out of service.

I think I may be looking for a new job

When I went on maternity leave, I like to call it, after I went into labor....cause it feels weird and adultish when I say, "maternity leave". So anyhow, after I went into labor, and before I came back to work, my group of a cozy 4 went to a cozy 2. My coworker had found a better job, one with a manager who appreciates his hard work, and the director of financial reporting left. So it was just me and the manager. I first of all need to let you know that I haven't been there for a year yet, and surprisingly enough, I've been in that group the longest since the manager showed up. The genius behind everything finance related at my company couldn't stay more than 4 months after my manager showed up. He quickly made a run for the hills, despite the fact that he LOVED working there and created everything that the finance department uses. My manager is *that* special.

So 7 employees later, my coworker and I show up. After my coworker left, she asked me to take over his job duties, since I won't be busy. What she neglected to say is that she loves the new hire and doesn't want to overload him, despite the fact that he could use a few more duties. However, I am the one she "depends on", so she gave it to me. I hate that while I was away being mother to one cranky Oliver, she gave one of my most loved duties to the new guy, simply because it needed to be done and wasn't confidential information, therefore, he got trained for the new system. He gets paid more than me, despite the fact that I have more experience and he got a sign on bonus. I got bupkus when I started working there.

So....I decided to put my resume out, kind of like a fishing expedition. I don't want to move to a new job, but if I don't get back that one duty from the new guy, and if I have to continue doing my old coworker's job...I will move on. She's had 1 damn month to find someone new, however she sat on her butt and got another temp, who quickly walked off the job....gee, I wonder why. Ugh. Everyone who has ever worked there for her has left, bitterly complaining. Now that there is an empty space next to her desk (window seat), I've been asked to move there twice. Once by her and once by someone else in the office. No one wants to sit next to her. Isn't this ridiculous?

Meanwhile, all I hear is that my department is like musical chairs. No one ever wants to stay. When I started working there, some people in the office had a bet going on, trying to figure out who would leave first, me or my coworker....and guess who they chose to leave first? ME! But I've outlasted both coworkers, and now I am on my 2nd set of coworkers.

I put my resume out. We'll see if I get any bites.

To keep this Oliver related...he had a bad day today. Apparently, Auntie A has disowned him because of his behavior today. He couldn't stop crying all day long. He cried and cried and cried himself silly. She was trying to run some errands today, but he just wouldn't stop crying. She was so frustrated that she finally just abandoned her errands and came home to listen to him cry. When I came home today (shockingly enough, it was a decent hour), I gave Oliver a bath. I poured oil on his head and scraped some of the cradle cap scales...then washed his head with Nizerol and again with baby shampoo. He was nice and happy through his bath, shockingly enough. Afterwards we went to go and help Crazy pick out his glasses from the optometrist office....then came back home and made a delicious lemony spicy shrimp scampi & linguini and some sauteed spinach with minced onions and chili pepper flakes. No more left overs. Damnit! Afterwards, I gave Oliver a bottle and he remained awake for 2 hours. I attempted to finish updating my resume and actually managed to get my resume out to 3 different employers. Then around 10:30, Mr. Oliver decided it was bedtime. Yah! So....there goes the night. I gave Crazy the night off, since his sleep patterns have just started to SUCK. This morning he was sleep deprived that I demanded he go to bed as early as possible since last night was an odd night to say the least. I went to a company party and had a few drinks too many, then we went out to dinner (just Crazy and I and baby)...I was the crazy buzzed mom trying not to make it obvious that I had way too much to drink. :-)

Goodnight. Please pray that Mr. Oliver lets me sleep at least 4 hours tonight.

Can it please be Friday already?

So last weekend my mother came up for a weekend trip. She had a wedding to attend on Sunday and left Monday morning. We let her watch Mr. Oliver for the entire 2 nights she was here, and she swore up and down that he didn't really wake up at night...but I heard other stories. I of course was passed out and did not wake up at all during the night. However Crazy and Auntie A heard Mr. Oliver screaming and demanding to be fed. So when they confronted my mom, she quickly changed her story....well he woke up a few times....but I thought you said he would wake up at 4:30 and stay awake...She made sure to let Auntie A know that we should only be feeding Oliver 3.5 ounces, she talks to Auntie A, cause I blow her off and she knows it. I still have no idea why this kid is getting so big so fast...but if you see how big Crazy's head is (even as a child) you would know that there's some correlation.

Here are some photos taken tonight of Oliver and his mama after he refused to listen to the end of Fox in Socks.


My mom actually said that she thought that Alliber looked like he was 5 months old. Alliber is how she pronounces Oliver's name....despite me asking her who she's talking about when she says "Alliber". Now tell me, does this dude look like he's 5 months old?


I can't believe how big he's gotten. I asked Crazy while en route to the farmer's market this Saturday if he is surprised at how big his son had gotten....he said in no uncertain terms, "NO". To my shock and horror, he says he hates this stage, he wishes that Oliver was able to talk and interact with him. That buttplug, he will regret it one day. It would be funny to see when Oliver talks back...then Crazy will wish for these small quiet Oliver days.

Aye GA!

Angry sucking, AYE GA!, angry sucking, AYE GA!

Yes that's Mr. Oliver giving us a rendition of angry pacifier sucking and baby cursing.

We read a book tonight. Mr. Oliver and I read Fox in Socks together. He was mesmerized at first, but as the rhymes got more and more dangerous, he got angry and frustrated!

Beginning....

Ending....

Super Sexy Mister

So its been a little warm lately. Mr. Oliver has been a little grumpy because he's a furnace and the weather is making him pissy. So we decided to give him some nekkid sexy time on his favorite pillow. This is a pillow I bought for Auntie A when she moved into her first apartment, however she has never used it and I think secretly HATES it. So, knowing she's leaving soon, I decided to take back the pillow. The dogs love it, however since Ollie likes it, Auntie Alice shoo's them away when they try to lay on it.

Its been a long week, I've worked 10 hours every day this week, despite Wednesday being a holiday. Its nice to go back to work, however this means that Auntie A gets a lot more Ollie time than even she was prepared for. But since she won't ever see him this small, and will leave us all soon, she wants spend lots of time with her FAVORITE nephew. Lets hope she donates to the 529 college fund....hint hint.

The agenda for today is that we all get out and go to the farmers market, then have a leisurely breakfast...then go run some errands. We will hopefully have a nice and relaxing day before I make dinner tonight. We slaughtered 3 bottles of the 5 bottles of wine that I brought back from our trip to wine country. :-( Hopefully we can have the other 2 bottles this weekend. Ollie's Grandmother is showing up this weekend for a wedding for some distant relation. She calls everyday to demand to get some phone time with Ollie. He coo's to her...and last night he even started to lick my cell phone. It was a sight to behold. Trust me, if I had a camera ready, I would have started to click away. This morning as I was giving him a bath, he smiled and coo'd at me the entire time. I hope this Ollie stays, the other one sucks.

Day is almost over but the fun continues

So I started working from home today at 6 am and didn't finish until now.

Meanwhile, Mr. Oliver, the cranky little punk kept everyone busy and scrambling. We made the bold choice of opening up the play gym and guess who's just enthralled with it? It has hanging toys, music, crinkly noises...and is beyond irresistible? Yes that's right, Mr. Oliver can't get over it. He's barely slept at all today. Every time they have whipped out the gym, he's happy as a clam. So today went something like this.....cry cry cry, wooooo weeeee its gym time!!!!!, cry cry cry....feed me, feed me Seymour! cry cry cry.....woo weee its gym time! cry cry cry.....you get the picture. He either wants to be fed, cry or be with the gym. We're waiting for him to take a nap. So far he has did micro naps. Hopefully this means he will sleep more tonight? One can only hope.

After waking Crazy and I up at 3:30am, Mr. Oliver decided to go back to sleep at 4:30, leaving me wide awake. So off to work mama goes. Then he wakes up....and the fun began with the gym. Crazy is so wrong about this gym, he freely admits that he was a scroodge for not wanting to buy it, but now is glad he did.

Thanks to Auntie A who claimed that Mr. Oliver STUNK, so I had to wash the poor guy. Here are some pictures of a very clean Mr. Oliver and his new toy.


Its off to baby gap I go. I can't get any rest. Poor Ollie needs more onesies cause his mama cared too much about street clothes than onesies. Do you like the saying on his onesie? It says "I won't remember any of this".....luckily Ollie....I have photographic proof of you in a orange onesie playing with a extremely flamboyant gym.

Fourth of July...not so free for me

I have to work tomorrow. It SUCKS! I was hoping to sleep and just lounge around, however I can't. I have to work, and unfortunately so does Crazy. So I will be working from home tomorrow. Hopefully I can get enough done tomorrow so that I won't have to work on Saturday.

I think that Mr. Oliver has developed a sort of routine. He wants to be asleep by 9 pm and basically sleeps until 5 am with 2 hour intervals. If we are on the road he gets oh so cranky and cries uncontrollably. Poor baby, we were at Target tonight getting a jungle gym for him so he can have some interaction while on his back. Mr. Oliver decided he'd had enough of all the shopping silliness, he needed to SLEEP....so he hollered and hollered until Auntie A wrapped him up. He finally fell asleep in a fit of crying. THANK GOD!

He's got a gunky left eye. We think its an infection, he was prescribed some eye drops. Now the challenge will be to get it into his eye. Crazy put 2 drops in his eye tonight and he cried for a full 2 minutes afterwards. We'll see how well the drops are received.

Guess what? He's basically outgrown all of his 0-3 month clothes! Its so surreal. He was so little when we first met, now he's HUGE! We will be donating his clothes and old bottles to a batter woman's shelter. Thank god I didn't buy too much.

Psssssstttt

Guess what Mr. Oliver can now do?

Its off to work I go

So today was my first day back in the office. I attempted to wake up my mom this morning at 5:30 am to see if she would be as cranky as I am when she calls at 11 pm. However, the second she answered the phone, she started to coo to Mr. Oliver.

We are so lucky we gave birth to our very own alarm clock. He will wake us up every 2 hours on the dot. So this morning I was nice and alert when I was getting ready for work.

We all did the obligatory "Hi, I'm good, baby is good" bit at work. I started working and didn't look up until it was 5:30 pm, after which I raced home to get to spend some time with Oliver. Unfortunately, I could not leave work there. After greeting my son, and giving him a bottle, we had dinner. Then I opened up the computer and started working, unfortunately Oliver had other plans for me. He wanted attention in the worse way. So I closed my computer, after all, he won't be this small and demanding forever, I don't want to miss all of it. There will always be more work, where I will only have one Oliver.

Here's a photo of the punk from this weekend.

He's wearing my favorite onesie that his Auntie A bought him when he was the size of a pinto bean.